I guess this recent OT period has stolen watashi from me.
I barely slept, I barely had the chance to take a breather, I barely had the time to meet up with my friends.
I reckon I wasn't in my right state of mind. I told myself it was over. I thought I've survived the worst of it and prevailed. I thought I forgot. Or at least I thought I did, for like maybe a couple of months - when I'm too busy to think, too tired to remember.
But when you don't have your friends around to hear what you have to say, when you don't have them to remind you of what shit you had to go through, you do what your heart tells you to. You don't think. You don't act rational.
I know some of you might think I'm bananas now but I've learnt from the last season of flood-myself drama.
I'm just going to live my life here in this small, sunny-if-not-rainy-only island whilst... you do what you need to.
At least I'm prepared for it.
But then I still ideate the thought of what-ifs.
Everything will soon be dealt with - when I have had enough sleep.