Forecast for the day: DARK

This post has been rotting in my draft inbox for over a month. Yes, I’ve been lazy.


These past weeks have been pure anguish. The workload can be so murderous I’ve even broke my own record of OT-ing until 4-freaking-am just so I can submit the damn file the next day. I finally experienced the "I’m so busy I have to time to pee", like what jo always say. Yet somehow I came to realise that when you put your mind to something, it can be done. And also most importantly, no issue at work is irresolvable. Last minute rescheduling of meetings got me on the edge but I’m glad I settled it eventually. I don’t know why in times like these my colleague would decide to ignore my call for help but well, I guess it’s only this way that I really learn to cope on my own. I’m no longer a temp - I keep reminding myself.

I realize I haven’t been blogging much about work. Simply because you get reaaalllyyy busy and stress, you have no additional strength to think of anything anymore. in free time, you just want to stay in bed, hide under your covers the whole entire day and pray Monday won't come. But Mondays, they always come. They arrive just a few hours shortly after you scream TGIF and bid the gruesome work week adios. Gawd, damn those Mondays, don’t you know you make us so blue.
So one time I really couldn't take it anymore, jo and I decided that we would fall "sick". I badly needed that one more day of rest enough though it fell on an awkward day - mid week. Still, hanging out in town, rushing to orchard road to see the flood damages kind of brought some life back into me. Yes, I am a busy body.

I was content settling into this life - 9 to godknowswhattime at IBM but then kong told me about this job opening at Citibank and mainly out of curiosity, I went for the interview. So two days after confirming the timing, I strolled down to Citibank from IBM, which was just two streets away. They told me it was going to be an informal interview, just to chat so I took their word for it. I didn't prepare much. I figured it doesn't really matter if I don’t get the job. I still have one on hand, one which I’m starting to like or maybe am just numbed to it already. Turns out, I was outnumbered 2 to 1. I must have looked like some moron, smiling like there's no tomorrow, partly because I slept at bloody 5am the night before rushing work. So the "chit-chat" went on for about half an hour and they were left to deliberate on it. I thought I had a good chance but didn't give it much thought. Honestly speaking, I wasn't really interested at that point in time. The only pull factor was probably the fact that working in the finance industry was something I wanted to do next year and Citibank was going to provide a good opportunity for me. I think I need to get out of IBM, my comfort zone.
I was having serious 2nd thoughts about this job hopping. sue ann, jo and kong kept telling me to quit being stupid and just go for it. But somehow, I couldn't. Most importantly, I couldn't leave my job just like that. I can't leave what I’m become so accustomed to. In some sick twisted way, I’ve come to like IBM. I’m really thankful for those people that have helped me along the way, people who've been so patient with me and that is why I had many 2nd thoughts on leaving. Responsibility over the pay increment and change of environment is what I thought I ought to choose. But good friends managed to pull me back to reality. "Opportunity doesn't knock twice" .
A job in the finance industry was a plan I gave myself a year from now to fulfill. I didn't think it will come this soon. Guilty for leaving everything this way, after the way they gave me a chance at this job and all. And yep, I burst out in tears. Please don’t laugh at me.
I guess I have to think for myself. It’s my life and if this is what it takes to earn myself bigger bucks, then this shall be it.
So this is it, goodbye IBM for real. I don't think I will be coming back. But fret not, you will be deeply deeply missed - my kopi gao siew dai.

such is life, and it's getting sucher and sucher...

one hella a week! i'm completely drained of any mental strength i have kept in the reserve. shit happens, i get that, but i would just like to have some time to catch my breath before another episode starts.

let's do a recrap but where do i even begin?
work hasn't been smooth sailing. screw ups are happening a lot and it's very demoralising. please give me a proper handover so i'll know what i need to do exactly. like i said, please help me help you.and "Mr Friday" needs to stop bugging me every now and then. I have no idea what you're asking me about, no clue why you need to do the things you need to do. for goodness' sakes, we're not even in the same dept!


also, the fatcat got really sick this time round. i believe this is the first time she's been ill throughout the whole of a decade.
contrary to the fact that she's overweight ( a whopping 5kg), she has always been in good health. it pains me to see her rejecting food and water, all lethargic and weak and in a daze. brought her to the vet, of course, it didn't come without a struggle from this feisty 'little' darling of mine. many apologies to the staff if she's bitten/ scratch/ hissed at you. what can i say, the fatcat has character.

i miss her pounding at my door 2 in the morning to get in, and waking me up 3am to get me to open the door so she could get out and then call out to me at 5am to get me to feed her. i miss coming home to see her come greet me. i miss seeing her sun bathing and rolling on the floor.
i promise to buy you only good food from now on so please get well soonest.

It's not us, it's the stars

i haven't really been the superstitious type where i have to mentally prepare for the day by reading up on horoscopes and astrology. Reading them have always only been a means of passing time and more out of curiosity. but now, maybe i should think otherwise.

i began this year with positivity, believing that 2010 would be a SPECTACULAR year. yes, caps are necessary to illustrate the degree in which i believe in this year being FANTASTIC. So, no matter what happened, i kept an open mind, trusting that everything is just temporary, all the bad stuff would be settled soon enough and then everything would be smooth sailing.
but i had it up until here (my head).

things haven't been going well since the start of the month. i had to wait a freaking month for my id to be up at work while normal folks would take a simple 3 days. so due to this id crap, i had to go to meetings carrying two thinkpads, and transferring everything from one to the other simply because without the id, i am, without nothing. no excel, no emails, no nothing. i look like a effing idiot. after a painful wait of a month, my id was up, then the wireless had to screw up. i took everything in my stride. so i settled the crap and thought everything was over when a week later, they removed my id for no apparent reason. so now, i'm stuck with no email access, no st, meaning, i can't do my job! i hate to think what the manager would think of me. yes, i know it's totally beyond me but somehow, the bad feeling wouldn't go away. and today, even the printers are bullying me.
but now i know why i've been bombarded with a series of unfortunate events.
got it from yahoo-

Daily Cosmic Calendar
The cosmos seems intent on wreaking havoc across the board at the start of this new workweek - especially as Mars makes an abrasive, 45-degree tie to taskmaster Saturn (12:59AM PDT), Mars squares Pallas (2:38PM PDT), the Sun forms a dicey, 135-degree contact with Saturn (4:53PM PDT) and the Sun also opposes Pallas (9:21PM PDT). Under this barrage of challenging alignments, it is best to surround yourself with a cloak of serenity as you go about your daily business. Acting rashly for any purpose is more likely to boomerang with nasty results. Review your career aims with an eye for streamlining your efforts. Learn from your esteemed mentors and teachers to avoid falling into the same old traps that have haunted you in the past. Giving you a boost are early-morning flowing trines from the Moon in Capricorn to the Sun in Taurus (3:58AM PDT) and Mercury in Taurus to Pluto in Capricorn (5:02AM PDT). Utilize tonight's Sun-Pallas polarity to solve pressing problems and conduct important strategy sessions with a trusted friend or adviser.


okok, i admit i don't have a clue what the above is trying to say. i only know i found a reason to blame

First month of Corporate Hell

the notes and ST have drop dead so i'm taking this time to write a little since i have all the time in the world and i need to act busy.

one month into work - i don't like it, i don't hate it either.
i wish i could be less dependent on people but it'll take a while for me to get out of the temp mentality. speaking of which, i really miss those times. thursday OTs are shit, but then, i feel useful. one day without me, the whole dept might go crazy without their reports. at least, i have a sense of purpose then.

a new chapter into adulthood bears heavier responsibilities. relying on others to tell me what to do has to stop. call me crazy, but i wish i can contribute to more than what i am doing right now. anyhow, i'm being paid more, sitting around doing nothing just doesn't seem right. being around big shots at work, i feel insignificant; a small little fry. but they inspire me. i want to love my job.

the colleague (yes i only have ONE fellow colleague and my manager on my team) have been very patient, giving me ample time to slowly pick up and learn. for that, i am very grateful. although the same can't be said for the manager, i am, however, not complaining. the peeps around me have been really nice and friendly. the auntie beside me would always chastise me whenever i have cold drinks in the morning. if i get healthier, the credit definitely goes to her.

monday to friday blues are inevitable but having jo around makes it so so so much bearable. being able to complain to her about anything and everything during 12:00 and 18:00 really helps in keeping me sane. thank you for your ear chabor.

having some friends around for some 2 hr lunches and tea breaks makes working life less dull.
thursdays and fridays are dedicated to "must go scout for cheap good food" together with jo, wynn and julie. this includes never ending chatter about cute boys. i need to find "motivation" to come to work.

occasional meetups with lvl 3 peeps are too much fun and laughs. it's been 2 years since i first worked with them, meaning i've been in ibm for 2 freaking years on-off, yucks.
then there's the buddy over at STC although i seldom see you anymore.

work is less torturous with everyone around. although everyday when i come to work, i can't wait till its 6pm and would count down together with Kaykong on msn - our "OMG ITS ONLY FREAKING 3PM/ Sian, it's only 4/ one and half hour more can go home!" time doesn't fly but at least you're there to entertain my craps.

Goodbye taitai

@caramelldrops your blog is too pretty and you've made me too ashamed to post in mine. It's all your fault that I'm not blogging regularly! Ok, totally am kidding.

I'm glad to announce that after one horrible interview (oh you won't believe the things i said in that interview), I've landed myself a job. Not my dream job, just... a job. Can't make a career out of it, it's just a J.O.B. I'm all about the pay-cheque.

So before I finally decided it was time for me to get out there to earn some bucks, deciding factor being the close to zero amount in the bank, the days were spent with solo marathon of these shows. I don't mean to brag, but I can finish 3 seasons in 2 days. I'm so proud of me!

Bones: Season 1-5
Criminal Minds: Season 1-5
Mentalist: Season 1-2
Big Bang Theory: Season 1-3
House: Season 1-6
Chuck: Season 1-3
How I Met Your Mother: Season 1-4
Flash Forward: Season 1
Ugly Betty: Season 4
Gossip Girls: Season 3
Lost: Season 6
Melrose Place: Season 1
Cougar Town: Season 1
Heroes: Season 4

and oh, you won't want to go on to the movies.

Roar!

First of all I would like to say that I've not totally given up on my blog. I would really like to share all the boring nitty gritty details with you folks but these days, I can really only manage the first sentence and that's about it. I mean, come on, sorting the pictures itself drove me half nuts!
To clarify: I HAVE NO COMMITMENTS ISSUES.
I just do not possess that huge amount of god-like quality known to us humans as Patience. It is a virtue and I need tons of it.
Ok, now back to me.

The first trip to the night safari since "rolled-down socks and $2 pocket money". It was too long ago, I can't recall. We almost didn't make it and all that blah which I am skipping - it's so dull even my brain won't retain it.
So here we are - to see cute little animals in their cages and to smell their poop. Hippy.
It cost a freaking $32 per individual but totally worth it.
At times, we were literally running on the trail, to get away from FREAKING NOISY Filipinos and other less loud tourists. Then at one point, because it was too dark, Blaise mistook a tourist for JW and it was hilarious. Oh boy, I feel like a kid again.

The night safari show at the Amphi-theatre.
Ok so here's the story: they were supposed to act all scared and pretend a snake was on the loose so they went around in search for it.
I totally bought that story. Please don't judge, this was my first time there since primary school, why don't you get it!!?
So I was totally engrossed watching these other zookeepers frantically looking for that big python when one of more gay-ish of them pointed to my bench and screamed in my face.
I, of course, got the shocked of my life.
and next, he screamed:" AHHHH!!! ....NICE SHOES!!!" -_-"'
So yes, I was pretty embarrassed. I do not like to be at the center of attention but I guess you could say I got a pretty good deal out of my ticket, at least I participated in something~
I mumbled a "hur hur thankew" and was rewarded a freaking grape, just like that 7 year old boy who was so brave to go up on stage. I got a freaking grape! How cool was that huh? We decided to feed it to some animal along the way and oh, good for you lucky otter.
Btw, that giant python was all along kept under someone else' butt. Ugh, I shudder at the thought of it.


The tram was the highlight of my night. To have deers standing beside you and seeing tigers, lions, rhinos, oxes at close range. Totally awesome. Too bad the giraffes were hiding.

I wish I had taken more pictures but it's night safari, it's dark, the animals might go blind so no camera flash is allowed. At least not when the zookeepers are around but this one particular zookeeper keeps popping up everywhere! That is why we had to run.

Next up, to the zoo! Can't wait to catch the penguins and polar bears :)

Thankful for...

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." Helen Keller

I reckon the first post of 2010 was somewhat a horrible start so here I am to make amends on eve of the Lunar New Year and I wonder if there's still anyone who'd read me given the number of posts I've written since the last century.

2010 has been so far so good.
Like I said, I've been busy with having so much fun.
Impromptu supper, mahjong, heading to beaches/reservoirs at night and exploring places we would never go with the public transport.

- Trip to the Science Centre since roll-down-socks and $2 pocket money.


Explore a little of everything then proceeded to the Body World Exhibit.
We were greeted by life foetus in a jar the moment we set foot in. It starts from a single cell to an almost going-to-pop-out-down-south life-size 36 weeks old flesh. Then, I was enlightened by the male's most important organ, finding out that it can pretty much bend like a "boomerang". I swear, it's the exact words.
Then there's the cross sections of the heart, stomach, liver, whatever your mind can conceive, it is there. they even featured the slice of a man full of shit, literally - he was gravely constipated. Do not doubt, yes, they showed poo.
It was truly an eye-opener and I think everyone should go too because after that, you're going to be so good to your liver.

- Ritz's Apple, Strawberry & Durian strudel. I'm digging the Durian although one can't really speak after that.

- Home made dinner with disgusting red wine.
Mahjong-ed while half drunk. Hilarious.

2010

Happy 2010! ok, i know i'm 27 days behind sending out these...well wishes, or whatever you might want to call them. yours truly has been very oh very busy with unraveling the meaning of life.
yeah right.
no, i was busy frolicking under starlight, star bright.

blah blah blah.
for updates refer to facebook or twitter. tired from all the typing already.
goodbye for now, again.