such is life, and it's getting sucher and sucher...

one hella a week! i'm completely drained of any mental strength i have kept in the reserve. shit happens, i get that, but i would just like to have some time to catch my breath before another episode starts.

let's do a recrap but where do i even begin?
work hasn't been smooth sailing. screw ups are happening a lot and it's very demoralising. please give me a proper handover so i'll know what i need to do exactly. like i said, please help me help you.and "Mr Friday" needs to stop bugging me every now and then. I have no idea what you're asking me about, no clue why you need to do the things you need to do. for goodness' sakes, we're not even in the same dept!


also, the fatcat got really sick this time round. i believe this is the first time she's been ill throughout the whole of a decade.
contrary to the fact that she's overweight ( a whopping 5kg), she has always been in good health. it pains me to see her rejecting food and water, all lethargic and weak and in a daze. brought her to the vet, of course, it didn't come without a struggle from this feisty 'little' darling of mine. many apologies to the staff if she's bitten/ scratch/ hissed at you. what can i say, the fatcat has character.

i miss her pounding at my door 2 in the morning to get in, and waking me up 3am to get me to open the door so she could get out and then call out to me at 5am to get me to feed her. i miss coming home to see her come greet me. i miss seeing her sun bathing and rolling on the floor.
i promise to buy you only good food from now on so please get well soonest.

It's not us, it's the stars

i haven't really been the superstitious type where i have to mentally prepare for the day by reading up on horoscopes and astrology. Reading them have always only been a means of passing time and more out of curiosity. but now, maybe i should think otherwise.

i began this year with positivity, believing that 2010 would be a SPECTACULAR year. yes, caps are necessary to illustrate the degree in which i believe in this year being FANTASTIC. So, no matter what happened, i kept an open mind, trusting that everything is just temporary, all the bad stuff would be settled soon enough and then everything would be smooth sailing.
but i had it up until here (my head).

things haven't been going well since the start of the month. i had to wait a freaking month for my id to be up at work while normal folks would take a simple 3 days. so due to this id crap, i had to go to meetings carrying two thinkpads, and transferring everything from one to the other simply because without the id, i am, without nothing. no excel, no emails, no nothing. i look like a effing idiot. after a painful wait of a month, my id was up, then the wireless had to screw up. i took everything in my stride. so i settled the crap and thought everything was over when a week later, they removed my id for no apparent reason. so now, i'm stuck with no email access, no st, meaning, i can't do my job! i hate to think what the manager would think of me. yes, i know it's totally beyond me but somehow, the bad feeling wouldn't go away. and today, even the printers are bullying me.
but now i know why i've been bombarded with a series of unfortunate events.
got it from yahoo-

Daily Cosmic Calendar
The cosmos seems intent on wreaking havoc across the board at the start of this new workweek - especially as Mars makes an abrasive, 45-degree tie to taskmaster Saturn (12:59AM PDT), Mars squares Pallas (2:38PM PDT), the Sun forms a dicey, 135-degree contact with Saturn (4:53PM PDT) and the Sun also opposes Pallas (9:21PM PDT). Under this barrage of challenging alignments, it is best to surround yourself with a cloak of serenity as you go about your daily business. Acting rashly for any purpose is more likely to boomerang with nasty results. Review your career aims with an eye for streamlining your efforts. Learn from your esteemed mentors and teachers to avoid falling into the same old traps that have haunted you in the past. Giving you a boost are early-morning flowing trines from the Moon in Capricorn to the Sun in Taurus (3:58AM PDT) and Mercury in Taurus to Pluto in Capricorn (5:02AM PDT). Utilize tonight's Sun-Pallas polarity to solve pressing problems and conduct important strategy sessions with a trusted friend or adviser.


okok, i admit i don't have a clue what the above is trying to say. i only know i found a reason to blame

First month of Corporate Hell

the notes and ST have drop dead so i'm taking this time to write a little since i have all the time in the world and i need to act busy.

one month into work - i don't like it, i don't hate it either.
i wish i could be less dependent on people but it'll take a while for me to get out of the temp mentality. speaking of which, i really miss those times. thursday OTs are shit, but then, i feel useful. one day without me, the whole dept might go crazy without their reports. at least, i have a sense of purpose then.

a new chapter into adulthood bears heavier responsibilities. relying on others to tell me what to do has to stop. call me crazy, but i wish i can contribute to more than what i am doing right now. anyhow, i'm being paid more, sitting around doing nothing just doesn't seem right. being around big shots at work, i feel insignificant; a small little fry. but they inspire me. i want to love my job.

the colleague (yes i only have ONE fellow colleague and my manager on my team) have been very patient, giving me ample time to slowly pick up and learn. for that, i am very grateful. although the same can't be said for the manager, i am, however, not complaining. the peeps around me have been really nice and friendly. the auntie beside me would always chastise me whenever i have cold drinks in the morning. if i get healthier, the credit definitely goes to her.

monday to friday blues are inevitable but having jo around makes it so so so much bearable. being able to complain to her about anything and everything during 12:00 and 18:00 really helps in keeping me sane. thank you for your ear chabor.

having some friends around for some 2 hr lunches and tea breaks makes working life less dull.
thursdays and fridays are dedicated to "must go scout for cheap good food" together with jo, wynn and julie. this includes never ending chatter about cute boys. i need to find "motivation" to come to work.

occasional meetups with lvl 3 peeps are too much fun and laughs. it's been 2 years since i first worked with them, meaning i've been in ibm for 2 freaking years on-off, yucks.
then there's the buddy over at STC although i seldom see you anymore.

work is less torturous with everyone around. although everyday when i come to work, i can't wait till its 6pm and would count down together with Kaykong on msn - our "OMG ITS ONLY FREAKING 3PM/ Sian, it's only 4/ one and half hour more can go home!" time doesn't fly but at least you're there to entertain my craps.