These past weeks have been pure anguish. The workload can be so murderous I’ve even broke my own record of OT-ing until 4-freaking-am just so I can submit the damn file the next day. I finally experienced the "I’m so busy I have to time to pee", like what jo always say. Yet somehow I came to realise that when you put your mind to something, it can be done. And also most importantly, no issue at work is irresolvable. Last minute rescheduling of meetings got me on the edge but I’m glad I settled it eventually. I don’t know why in times like these my colleague would decide to ignore my call for help but well, I guess it’s only this way that I really learn to cope on my own. I’m no longer a temp - I keep reminding myself.
I realize I haven’t been blogging much about work. Simply because you get reaaalllyyy busy and stress, you have no additional strength to think of anything anymore. in free time, you just want to stay in bed, hide under your covers the whole entire day and pray Monday won't come. But Mondays, they always come. They arrive just a few hours shortly after you scream TGIF and bid the gruesome work week adios. Gawd, damn those Mondays, don’t you know you make us so blue.
So one time I really couldn't take it anymore, jo and I decided that we would fall "sick". I badly needed that one more day of rest enough though it fell on an awkward day - mid week. Still, hanging out in town, rushing to orchard road to see the flood damages kind of brought some life back into me. Yes, I am a busy body.
I was content settling into this life - 9 to godknowswhattime at IBM but then kong told me about this job opening at Citibank and mainly out of curiosity, I went for the interview. So two days after confirming the timing, I strolled down to Citibank from IBM, which was just two streets away. They told me it was going to be an informal interview, just to chat so I took their word for it. I didn't prepare much. I figured it doesn't really matter if I don’t get the job. I still have one on hand, one which I’m starting to like or maybe am just numbed to it already. Turns out, I was outnumbered 2 to 1. I must have looked like some moron, smiling like there's no tomorrow, partly because I slept at bloody 5am the night before rushing work. So the "chit-chat" went on for about half an hour and they were left to deliberate on it. I thought I had a good chance but didn't give it much thought. Honestly speaking, I wasn't really interested at that point in time. The only pull factor was probably the fact that working in the finance industry was something I wanted to do next year and Citibank was going to provide a good opportunity for me. I think I need to get out of IBM, my comfort zone.
I was having serious 2nd thoughts about this job hopping. sue ann, jo and kong kept telling me to quit being stupid and just go for it. But somehow, I couldn't. Most importantly, I couldn't leave my job just like that. I can't leave what I’m become so accustomed to. In some sick twisted way, I’ve come to like IBM. I’m really thankful for those people that have helped me along the way, people who've been so patient with me and that is why I had many 2nd thoughts on leaving. Responsibility over the pay increment and change of environment is what I thought I ought to choose. But good friends managed to pull me back to reality. "Opportunity doesn't knock twice" .
A job in the finance industry was a plan I gave myself a year from now to fulfill. I didn't think it will come this soon. Guilty for leaving everything this way, after the way they gave me a chance at this job and all. And yep, I burst out in tears. Please don’t laugh at me.
I guess I have to think for myself. It’s my life and if this is what it takes to earn myself bigger bucks, then this shall be it.
So this is it, goodbye IBM for real. I don't think I will be coming back. But fret not, you will be deeply deeply missed - my kopi gao siew dai.
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